Did you too sing those first few lines of the ever so popular diva-esque song? I know I did, and I don’t even remember who sang it. Tina Turner, or Whitney? Meh. Details.
But I do like the title of my ‘first blog in quite some time’. (It really has been a while)… I don’t know what I have been doing, but OBVIOUSLY it wasn’t writing to you fine, and loverly people.
SO many great things have been happening in life - but I will spare you the detes until another blog post comes along … for now - let’s home team it up for a second, shall we? I see I have some new followers, and I thought before we dive deep into this post - I’ll introduce myself :) ****
I’m Samantha. I love Jesus, SouthEast Portland, fresh cut grass, teen moms, my psychology course, Tyler, and I can’t believe I’m saying this…. My car, Gigi. Which stands for ‘Grandma Gangster Car’. Her rap name is ‘GiGi C’. You’re welcome. ****
Here, we dive in deep to the things of life, and the Lord, and we don’t do any of that tippy toe action. We get right into the nitty gritty of it all, and we swim, not sink, because we know that we are, A) Figuring out that there is a real God out there who loves us, and carries us, and we still need to test out a few kinks in that, or B) Understanding more everyday that God loves us, carries us, transforms us, and not only does he foster us, but he keeps us, and adopts us. Praise Jesus :)
Everyday, as women, (Or men - some of you are following me after all :) we are faced everyday, from the moment we put our feet on the floor, we are gutted with this void. It begins with hunger, or the bad pizza you ate the night before (Ehhem- Men!), and ends the day with not feeling fully satisfied in something. It really could be anything from, “I burnt my toast, and was late to school”, to “That boy didn’t smile back at me, and barely said looked at me all day”. Oh - Here’s another one. “I needed this, but didn’t get it, so let me be sad so I can deal with what to do next.” You feel empty - like something good-for-you is missing, and we aimlessly wonder, searching for the hope of something good to be on its way. Soon.
Umm. Hi. Have you been there? Oh. Because I have. Like.. Today actually. In fact. The past month.
Here’s where we go deep. Strap on those life jackets ;)
I am not about to waltz in here twentysomethings and pretend like I have this DOWN… Because I’m writing this blog for all of those who are like me - who don’t have this down.
I have a void. A big one. I have empty spots all up and down my heart, and my soul, and my gut, and I have felt weary, and tired, and selfish, and complacent, and all those gross, crazy things people warn you about if you don’t take care of the fact that we cannot afford to think we can do it all on our own. We actually weren’t created to do anything on out own.
Think back to Eve. Adam was hers, and she was his. Ezer Kenegdo the Hebrew says. God’s word to women. Same with Ruth, and Boaz, and *duh duh du dunnn! * (Singing voice) Jesus - to you; to me.
Each person, partnered with their hero who saved the day. Granted, Adam didn’t “save the day” when Eve took a bite - but he did follow her - made babies with her, and I bet in Eve’s eyes - no matter what - they were in this together, and they were beginning to realize that because of what they did - they were separated from paradise - but not separated from God.
Today, I needed someone to rescue me from my thoughts that were beginning to run with the best of what God has given me right now. Thoughts that were causing so much hurt, and pain, that I knew if I didn’t pray about it right away, they would just continue to get carried away.
Jesus - I need you. Please, come and rescue me. Please come, and bring me peace, and confidence, and hope that things always get better. Where there is adversity - Victory lingers close by. Help me to remember those truths. You are my hero, and I love you.
We all need a hero. Because we all need, or will need to be rescued at some point in our existence. And the only one who can give you the peace that I feel right now as I type all this hodge podge out - is Jesus. His kindness brings me to repentance, and I am given grace, and forgiveness.